Approach life gently. Treat life kindly. Live life fully and with enthusiasm.
Respect life--always.


Monday, October 3, 2011

OH, CRABBY APPLES


Oh, crabby apples

We turned the refrigerator on
And it ain’t getting’ cold yet.
Trevor is rubbing his hands together
Thinking it’s my ice cream he will get.


You can’t take it with you
It’s already soft, just look.
I’ll eat the entire thing on the road
Nobody’s getting my Tillamook.

Oh, crabby apples.

What now? No tow lights for the Jeep?
I thought you had that fixed.
I guess we cannot leave in the morning
Until we get that problem nixed.

Oh, crabby apples.

Ugh. Another obstacle to our departing?
What do you mean the realtor is on her way?
The landlord could have given more notice.
How many more hassles can we add to this day?

Oh, crabby apples.

Get out of my face. Leave me alone.
Can’t you tell I have another migraine?
Yes, it is my obligatory weekly friend.
She thinks I am her bitch, but she is my bane.

Oh, crabby apples.

Finally, we are hitting the road.
I am so excited, I forgot to duck.
Bam, right into the corner of the TV
And unfortunately you know the word, f***

Oh, crabby apples.

Why can’t I get past this darned headache?
Why must I always bump my noggin?
It is a pain being a klutz and a clumsy dolt.
Maybe I should relax and quit hot-doggin’.

Oh, crabby apples.

We made it! We made it! But to where?
Spirit Mountain Casino, as a matter of fact.
A handful of cash and we are there, baby.
Granted my migraine is still fully intact.

Oh, crabby apples.

Crap. Crap. Crap. The crapper is broke.
Who would think you had to test the toilet
Before setting out on the first trip?
Gimme some water, I will make it flush, yet!

Oh, crabby apples.

Goodnight, baby. It has been fun.
Too bad the machines were tight.
They greedily took all our mad money.
But at least we should have a good night.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Goodness, good morning. Time for a walk.
Tinker is refusing to tinkle, but this you have to see.
Crab apples. Little red jewels on overgrown trees.
It’s an orchard gone wild. Just look at that tree!

Oh, crabby apples.

Those silly crab apples.
Today, I just cannot continue my pout.
Small and tart and unruly.
I can’t even remember what I was upset about.

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