I’ve been in this rut that past few days again. It isn’t depression, but it does keep me down. It is the blasted headaches and pain. Again. Why must they be here again? I asked them politely to leave me alone. I guess the headaches are from spending too much time staring at a computer screen. But I have been trying so very hard to get my book finished that I have been in one of those writing frenzies—that is until the headaches took over again.
My writing frenzies can keep me up all night sometimes, pounding away at the keyboard. Or it can mean that I wake up in the morning with a pen in my hand. Yes, I do weird things in my sleep. Sleep walking. Sleep eating. Sleep writing.
My nights are oftentimes my most interesting times of the day, so to speak. I mean, what with all that sleep activity plus night terrors and nightmares and night sweats. Then there are CPAPs, mouth guards, wrist braces, and pillows supporting my knees and arms. And constantly readjusting my Sleep Number bed to find even two minutes of comfort. Sleep Number beds may be okay for “the average” person, but for a “major pain” like myself, well, I don’t think any bed can really give me all I need. Except there was that bed in Tahoe last spring . . .
Am I a mess or what?
But this too shall pass. God will ease my headaches, my pain. God will ease my symptoms of Lyme disease and early menopause. And God will even ease my nightmares.
And even though these things shall pass, I am very thankful for all of my life. I am thankful for my gift of writing. I am thankful for the intelligence God blessed me with, the sense of humor, the compassion and love in my heart. I am thankful for my husband, my children, my family, my friends. I am thankful for having enough in my life to always allow us to get by and never be desperately wanting or without. I am thankful for knowing the hard times with the good times, for how could I recognize the good without first knowing the bad? I am thankful there is a God to watch over me and care for me in my illness. I am thankful you are here, sharing my journey with me.