So, yes, I am guilty. I am very guilty of being human. I am human, after all. We all are.
I am guilty of being self-centered and having too much of a “me-me-me” attitude.
And that is definitely not like me, normally.
I guess I have gotten tired of giving and caring and being there for everyone else, that I just wanted something more for me.
I needed to fill my cup.
We all need to fill our own cups from time to time. If we do not refill, we cannot continue to give to others.
But even as we refill, we cannot ignore our commitments, our most valuable relationships. We cannot simply run away to do our own thing and expect everyone else to understand.
Well, in the midst of my me-seek, God sent me a few messages. I done been thumped on the snout, so to speak, by God’s newspaper.
I was trying to convince my husband that his plans needed to change drastically, while also telling him that he needed to be flexible. In reality, I was the one not being flexible. I was the one stuck in me-mode.
He has always been there for me, right beside me, right behind me in all my dreams. I could not ask for a better support person. I do not know why I get so uppity sometimes. Why do I have to push and test him so?
Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary. We spent it at the hospital. There was a heart attack scare and I was so afraid of losing my best friend and lover. What would I do without him? For then I would surely be left with only myself, with no one to balance out my eccentricities, no one to love me the way only he does. Please forgive me.