I went for a walk yesterday morning, searching for a bit of peace, a place where my pain might not be able to find me. At least for a time. I’ve had a bad exacerbation lately and I am not doing well at all. I’ve had a migraine for three days’ running, again, plus the unrelenting body pain.
I left the Raven about 5:30 that morning, with the fog still boxing us in and the air still a bit crisp and damp. I walked with my big camera hanging around my neck and my cane in my left hand, just in case, up into the woodsy area behind the RV park. I kept climbing and climbing, hoping to reach the top, hoping to feel the rays of the morning sun on my face. Hoping for clarity in all the issues bogging me down right now.
I never did reach the top. I never did find solace from my pain. Or answers to my issues.
Will I ever be free of this pain? I pray and pray. But I cannot outrun it and no one can suffer it for me.
What I did find on my walk were some beautiful plants and birds. These are the things that keep me going from one moment to the next, God’s beauty. A special thank you goes out to a very good friend who reminded me tonight of all the beauty that surrounds me even when I am in pain. Thank you. You can always make me smile.
So until God takes away my pain, it will be one day at a time. Just one more day at a time.