Today I spent the day in my element, amongst likeminded people, talking words. Style. Prose. Genre. Today I attended Wordstock at the Oregon Convention Center. It was the first year I actually made it, having had a multitude of excuses over the past several years. Pain. Exhaustion. Depression. Anxiety. Fear. No one to go with.
Well, last night I was in severe pain, and I woke up in a great amount of pain, too. So we can scratch that excuse off the list. I made the conscious decision sometime during the night to not allow my pain to have that much power and authority in my day. It would be nice if I could keep that attitude for life, never wavering, but one day at a time is good, and at least for today the pain did not have me, even though I had pain.
I was determined to go to Wordstock with or without pain. I did my best to sleep last night, and I ate a complete and balanced breakfast to keep my energy up. I would not let exhaustion control my day, either.
Emotionally, I have felt fairly well, other than my stress level being too high. No depression. Some normal sadness, but no major depression. This is a great thing. Anxiety seems to be creeping back into my life, but I am taking steps to deal. Being proactive and having a plan can make all the difference in the world when it comes to emotional stability. These, too, cannot be excuses. Absolutely cannot, as part of my proactive plan.
Even with my determination, my drive, sometimes I can be derailed, and all the positive talk and proactive efforts in the world cannot help me get out of bed on those mornings.
Talk about having to live in the moment. Taking one day at a time to the full extent of the meaning.
But now I am getting off on a painful tangent.
This morning I arrived at the Oregon Convention Center bright and early. I did not even let the timing of my first class (9 a.m.) deter me. I went alone, which was actually probably the best for me because I was able to get totally absorbed in every conversation and every class discussion, without worrying about where so-and-so was or if they were bored.
I had the most awesome day, and I was definitely in my element. What does being in my element look like?
- goal oriented
- willing to step outside my comfort zone
- stepping outside my comfort zone without even thinking about it
- constantly smiling
- patient with those around me
- extra loving and helpful, even to total strangers
- not concerned about what others might think
- willing and able to ask for what I need without anxiety or fear that they will say no
- joy fills my heart
It is an amazing gift that God has given me, this ability to live within my joy instead of constantly chasing it and always falling short.
Thank you, Lord, for this amazing day.