Techno-Savvy? Not Me

I thought it might be useful to others who may be on a similar journey (or are contemplating such) to go over some of the things we have found most helpful.

First, when it comes to blogging, I cheat. Gasp! Yes, it is true. I use a Windows program called Windows Live Writer. It allows me to write, edit, and publish a bunch of blog articles all at once, and then they get neatly doled out per my scheduling. So, it may look like I am writing daily or almost daily (I know, ha ha, right), but I can get three or four posts done in one afternoon, and then spend the next three or four days thinking about what to write about next. So, it really isn’t cheating. It is time management.

One major problem we had to overcome was the availability of reliable internet. At first, I tried to just use what was provided by the resorts, but the deeper into California we got, the more expensive it became to “rent” the internet, even for one afternoon. Besides, then we ran into another problem due to the nature of public internet sources. One resort had their router set so that no downloading could be done. I can understand this. They don’t want people tying up the limited internet for everyone by watching You Tube videos or Netflix all day long. But they also stopped me from uploading to the blog server.

So we gulped hard and called AT&T to turn my i-phone into a hotspot. So far, so good on that front.

A guy at Canyon Creek tried to sell us a cell booster of some sort (it is what he does for a living). He proved it worked for his Verizon phone, but he could not guarantee results with AT&T. We did not succumb, but maybe if we found one that did work with our service, then maybe.

For photo editing, I use Photoshop Elements 9. Though some things in life need no help at all in the cuteness department. Photoshop seems to do what I need without too many headaches. Then again, nothing is as user friendly as I used to believe everything was. You know, back when my brain was young and elastic, and not full of disease.

The one thing I have not been able to replace since leaving Portland is the fount of technical knowledge I had at my beck and call—my son.

I miss you, Trevor. Don’t laugh next time I call you because I cannot turn my hotspot on. Unless I am already laughing, of course.

Love and best wishes,

Jenni and Ken

Home Sweet Home

The past month has seemed like a blur, we’ve been so busy. When we arrive at a destination, I have all these great notions to get all this writing done, plus tons of other things. But all my body wants to do is sleep, in an attempt to recuperate from traveling.

Different elevations and different weather patterns have also worked their unrelenting “magic” on my oversensitive joints and bones, my oversensitive body. After spending the last week at 6,000 feet, I now know that that is not the elevation for me. There’s not enough oxygen up here in the crisp mountain air.

One good thing this past week has been that the humidity has been very low. There is so little moisture in the air, but then that has led to daily nose bleeds and contending with dust, dust, and more dust.

This is our last evening at Snowflower Lake Thousand Trails Park. We had a nice dinner of steak and sautéed vegetables. The coach is in relatively decent shape, almost ready to roll in the morning. So I actually have an hour to spend on my writing.

Even though we are not organized, yet, and my body complains so, I still love our home on wheels and the life we have chosen.

Love and blessings,

Jenni

Not So Out of Touch

The Internet has been down, here at Neskowin Creek RV Resort, but it really hasn’t been an issue. Not for me, anyway. I see some people acting like addicts in search of their next hit, as they ask in the office and then ask random people if they’ve gotten on lately.

For me, it has been so peaceful. I have wanted to log on and write a post or two. It just wasn’t in the cards.

In the time I’ve not been spending online, I've had many actual conversations with real flesh-and-bone people and I've learned so much about myself and others in the process. Plus I haven't laughed and smiled this much in a long time.

I’ve also had time to work on editing my book. In a few weeks’ time, I should have the final edit finished, and my manuscript will be ready for publishing. Yes, I realize I’ve been talking about this book off and on for the past several years. I thought I had it finished two years ago. I really did. I had Office Depot print copies, and I handed them out to a few friends, family, and trusted others. I really thought I was ready. But God said, “Not yet.” He was basically telling me the book wasn’t finished because I had one more Major, dare I say Super Major, test to go through. Having now finished that trial, I feel the peace that I believe means I can now finish and publish.

Plus, Ken and I have had time to just relax without stressing about anything other than not being organized full-timers yet.

This past week has been good, very good. Maybe God’s been using this time to reinforce the last trial He put me through.

Thank heaven for limited internet!

We should all go net-less once in a while.

Peace, love, and joy to you all!

I'll be checking out again!

But I Digress

There have been two times in my life that a form of entertainment had moved me to yearn for it not to end.

One of Ken’s favorite movies is Fiddler On The Roof. Early in our marriage, he suggested we watch it. I was resistant at first. It is such a long movie. And it is a musical. I just wasn’t in the mood for all that singing.

But Ken persisted and finally won.

Once the movie began, I became glued to the screen.

And when it ended, I cried. “That can’t be all there is.”

The second time this phenomenon happened, I was the one who had to be persistent. I had long dreamed of seeing The Nutcracker Ballet live.

Ken was less than enthusiastic, but for me, he caved, and in December 2007, the 21st to be exact, we saw The Nutcracker Ballet from the best seats. We were in the second row, directly behind the orchestra box. We could see clearly that the conductor was balding, but I digress.

We could also see every muscle ripple as true artists floated across the stage.

Then it ended. I was perched on the edge of my seat, clinging to the backrest of the one in front of me. Tears streamed from my eyes. It could not be over. They surely had to come back and do an encore number.

Alas, it was over. I dried my tears and walked away.

And here we have an excellent example of why I have not been writing lately. I am clueless as to where I was headed. Yes, things end, but what specifically now?

I’ve had a bit of a relapse because of all the stress in my life. My pain is greater. My dyslexia worse. And my memory is once again Swiss cheese. I can remember things past as clear as day, as above, but I cannot remember spit about what Ken asked me two minutes ago. I have the feeling it was important, too.

Some time has passed, and I still cannot remember where this post was originally headed. If I ever do remember, I’ll get back to you.

The Poppy and The Pod

I wrote the following in the wee hours of this morning, before all the pain and exhaustion from such a busy weekend caught up to me. Before the natural high wore off, allowing all that pain to return, as I emotionally let down my guard.

Please read it as a prayer and a dedication I am making into my new life. I have been struggling with where God wants me, what He wants me to do with my life. Through months or searching and prayer, I may be getting close to His dream for me. And as you know, His dreams for us don’t always line up with our own. His dreams eclipse ours, outshine ours unlike nothing we could ever have imagined.

Thank you for being my readers. May God bless you as He has blessed me.

Love, Jenni Lynn

 

THE POPPY AND THE POD

October 15, 2012

Yesterday I found myself back within my element. Talking with even more likeminded people. Listening. Learning. Absorbing. Stretching. Growing.

I found myself back at Wordstock. The Oregon Convention Center. On the escalators, beneath the giant poppies. I stopped to study these gigantic glass ornaments. They catch the backlight and come aglow. My eyes shift toward the top of the escalator. A large alien-looking green pod sits alone. Closed to the outside world. Heavy and dull. Frightening in its obscurity.

Within this space, this element of mine, I stretch my bubble. I poke it in all directions. I open my eyes to all the possibilities. The learning. The conversations. And then I act. Like a real person. A real woman. A real writer. A real illustrator. A person of good, strong character. I act and feel how I have always believed normal people act and feel every day.

Within this space, this element of mine, I am the poppy, unfurling my colors before the sun. I am no longer the pod, so full of potential but ever frozen in time.

I have no excuses for my past. I will no longer rely on qualifying statements about my efforts.

 

This is me. Living within my joy.

Head held high. Smile broad and bright.

Eagerness pouring from my every cell.

And love.

Compassion.

Courage.

 

This is me. Having the courage to step out in faith.

Trusting God has my back.

My front.

My every footfall.

 

This is me. Meeting the real me.

Enjoying the discovery process.

Seeking only His opinion of me.

Desiring to live up to His vision of me.

 

This is me. Living in love.

Loving God. Loving myself. Finally loving myself.

Trusting His love won’t abandon me.

His truths won’t fade away or change.

 

This is me. Living in trust.

Humbled to be chosen.

Accepting forgiveness when I fail.

Relaxing into the ocean of His truth.

Closing my eyes and allowing His miracles to wash over me.

 

This is me, Lord.

The me you made me to be.

 

Coffee in one hand, cheese-covered guilt in the other. Candy wrappers stuffed hastily in my pocket. You know this about me, and yet you still love me. You still have compassion and not pity for me. You still want glorious things of me and for me. Nothing I do can make you stop loving me. No matter how much I act out or feel like a failure. Nothing.

Like the flood rushing down from the mountains with the spring rains, no dam can hold back or cut off your love. It will wash over me. Drown me in peace and grace. Fill my lungs with righteousness. Only you can love me like this.

Nothing. And only you. Unconditional love at its finest. It is you or nothingness. And no matter how difficult it has been to grasp your depth of love, I cannot begin to fathom nothingness. I pray I never have to.

Teach me, Lord. Teach me speak. Teach me your ways. Put the correct words in my mouth and lead me to the correct actions. Make me aware of you, always. Do not count me among the Israelites who asked never to see your face or hear your voice ever again. Teach me speak, as only you can. I long to hear your voice, feel your presence. Your nearness.

Let me rise and do great things in your name, but keep me humble so that I may stay in your presence and not let conceit destroy me.

There is a brisk clip to my gait as I carry out these joys. These promises you’ve given me. I no longer feel like a fake. No longer on the fringe of life and love. No longer self-marginalized. You’ve instilled confidence in my heart.

I turn my flush petals to your brightness, seeking and accepting your warmth and love. Thank you. Thank you seems inadequate. I love you. Even my love seems inadequate compared to yours.

I am yours. I am your poppy.

No longer the pod.

 

My life comes aglow only with your illumination.

I live to carry out your desires.

I live to ring your quiet bell of grace.

 

I long to hear the trumpets that signal all hope.

Amen.

Love, Jenni Lynn

Living My Joy

One day, I shall sit in one of these red chairs, and I shall read aloud from my own published work.

Today I spent the day in my element, amongst likeminded people, talking words. Style. Prose. Genre. Today I attended Wordstock at the Oregon Convention Center. It was the first year I actually made it, having had a multitude of excuses over the past several years. Pain. Exhaustion. Depression. Anxiety. Fear. No one to go with.

Well, last night I was in severe pain, and I woke up in a great amount of pain, too. So we can scratch that excuse off the list. I made the conscious decision sometime during the night to not allow my pain to have that much power and authority in my day. It would be nice if I could keep that attitude for life, never wavering, but one day at a time is good, and at least for today the pain did not have me, even though I had pain.

I was determined to  go to Wordstock with or without pain. I did my best to sleep last night, and I ate a complete and balanced breakfast to keep my energy up. I would not let exhaustion control my day, either.

Emotionally, I have felt fairly well, other than my stress level being too high. No depression. Some normal sadness, but no major depression. This is a great thing. Anxiety seems to be creeping back into my life, but I am taking steps to deal. Being proactive and having a plan can make all the difference in the world when it comes to emotional stability. These, too, cannot be excuses. Absolutely cannot, as part of my proactive plan.

Even with my determination, my drive, sometimes I can be derailed, and all the positive talk and proactive efforts in the world cannot help me get out of bed on those mornings.

Talk about having to live in the moment. Taking one day at a time to the full extent of the meaning.

But now I am getting off on a painful tangent.

This morning I arrived at the Oregon Convention Center bright and early. I did not even let the timing of my first class (9 a.m.) deter me. I went alone, which was actually probably the best for me because I was able to get totally absorbed in every conversation and every class discussion, without worrying about where so-and-so was or if they were bored.

I had the most awesome day, and I was definitely in my element. What does being in my element look like?

• confident
• determined
• goal oriented
• willing to step outside my comfort zone
• stepping outside my comfort zone without even thinking about it
• constantly smiling
• patient with those around me
• extra loving and helpful, even to total strangers
• not concerned about what others might think
• willing and able to ask for what I need without anxiety or fear that they will say no
• joy fills my heart

It is an amazing gift that God has given me, this ability to live within my joy instead of constantly chasing it and always falling short.

Thank you, Lord, for this amazing day.

Yikes! Time’s a Wasting

After two frenzied weeks of writing—and finishing, I might add—my book, I just looked at the countdown timer and realized that we only have 90 days left until May first.

Yikes! Where has the time gone? I was just telling my son yesterday that we have all been rather lazy all winter and that it had to stop. Nice weather and moving day is approaching, but I didn’t realize it was under 100 days yet.

Those ninety days will pass us by if we aren’t careful, if we aren’t organized, if we don’t keep busy. Hibernation is over. The hungry bears must now wake up. Yawn, stretch. Let’s get moving.

The Raven will finally be home this week, as well. I am so excited to get back into finishing our projects.

I am still pumped and amped and on an achievement high from finishing my book. I know I will crash soon, but for the past few weeks, I haven’t slept much. My plan is to veg the rest of today, get a good night’s sleep, and then start fresh tomorrow.

It will be a brand new day, a brand new month. And the final push toward hitting the road begins . . .

P.S. When my book is about to be published, you will be the first to know. Thank you for putting up with my craziness during the writing process. You realize, of course, that we creative types have often been accused of insanity. Just saying.

This Too Shall Pass

I’ve been in this rut that past few days again. It isn’t depression, but it does keep me down. It is the blasted headaches and pain.  Again. Why must they be here again? I asked them politely to leave me alone. I guess the headaches are from spending too much time staring at a computer screen. But I have been trying so very hard to get my book finished that I have been in one of those writing frenzies—that is until the headaches took over again.

My writing frenzies can keep me up all night sometimes, pounding away at the keyboard. Or it can mean that I wake up in the morning with a pen in my hand. Yes, I do weird things in my sleep. Sleep walking. Sleep eating. Sleep writing.

My nights are oftentimes my most interesting times of the day, so to speak. I mean, what with all that sleep activity plus night terrors and nightmares and night sweats. Then there are CPAPs, mouth guards, wrist braces, and pillows supporting my knees and arms. And constantly readjusting my Sleep Number bed to find even two minutes of comfort. Sleep Number beds may be okay for “the average” person, but for a “major pain” like myself, well, I don’t think any bed can really give me all I need. Except there was that bed in Tahoe last spring . . .

Am I a mess or what?

But this too shall pass. God will ease my headaches, my pain. God will ease my symptoms of Lyme disease and early menopause. And God will even ease my nightmares.

And even though these things shall pass, I am very thankful for all of my life. I am thankful for my gift of writing. I am thankful for the intelligence God blessed me with, the sense of humor, the compassion and love in my heart. I am thankful for my husband, my children, my family, my friends. I am thankful for having enough in my life to always allow us to get by and never be desperately wanting or without. I am thankful for knowing the hard times with the good times, for how could I recognize the good without first knowing the bad? I am thankful there is a God to watch over me and care for me in my illness. I am thankful you are here, sharing my journey with me.

Still Looking

My eyes are all buggy and hurting. I have been on this computer for way too long. But such is life when you are trying to accomplish a goal.

I honestly tried to find those negatives of Suzie as a puppy so that I could continue the furry family album series, but I started in the wrong box and got bored with the whole process. No wonder they charge a ton of money to digitize negatives professionally. It is a tedious job. And boring. But at least I got some reading done. I just love my Kindle.

Anyway, three days ago, I set aside the negatives, so that I would not get negative. Ha ha. And then I started in with the whole editing and compiling process to finally get my book ready for publishing.

Talk about a tedious job. When I attempted the editing and compiling a few months ago, it was horribly complicated. All my files are in Word, and there is just no easy way to get them all together without going crazy. And trying to make sure I am maintaining good flow and continuity from page one to the end, well, that is very difficult in Word.

A fellow writer, however, turned me on to an awesome program: Scrivener. I absolutely love it. I can switch back and forth between chapters quickly. I can see everything all at once. I can make notes on the side that will not end up in the final draft but which are important to me now. It is just the greatest thing since sliced bread.

If you write, I would highly recommend checking it out at this link.

Have a great day, and maybe soon I will get those negatives scanned in. Meanwhile, I am quitting for the evening before my eyes bleed.

Life’s Little Obstacles

“Whether we’re prepared or not, life has a habit of thrusting situations upon us.”

Lucille Ball

 

So, it is probably no big news that someone who suffers from depression, anxiety, and a major illness (not that depression and anxiety aren’t major illnesses) would seek out counseling services. I am not ashamed to say that I need help from time to time. We should never be ashamed to ask for help when we need it.

We should also never be ashamed to take time for ourselves, to carve out of our day whatever it is we need to not only survive, but thrive.

Each one of us is valuable and deserving of our own compassion, our own goodness. I am worth the effort it will take to get my own “stuff” taken care of. And part of that “stuff” is getting my book finished.

My main excuses have been that I don’t have space. I don’t have the freedom, with Ken home all the time now, wanting my attention. I don’t have the time, with all the other things that need to be done so that we can get on the road. I don’t feel good. I am tired. Blah, blah, blah.

Yesterday, I confessed to my counselor my real reason for not finishing my book, which is so close to being finished. I fear it will fail. I fear no one will read it. I fear my message will not be heard, despite all my efforts.

My wise counselor asked one simple question, which put everything in perspective. (He has that habit.) If you could help just one person with your story, would it be worth it?

Yes, of course. If I could save one person from suffering the torture and abuse I have been through. If I could help one woman to find the courage to love herself enough to walk away. If I could help one person, of course it would be worth all my effort and all my tears bringing this book to fruition.

Yes, I need to finish my book. Now. Not someday.

So, I need to tackle some of those obstacles that are currently standing in my way.

Today, I took step one to create my own workspace in this small home of ours. The living room is not a viable work area for me because of the television. There isn’t an adequate space available in the tiny bedroom to set up a desk and chair, and I cannot comfortably work on the bed.

And of course, the Raven isn’t back yet. So I cannot work in it. I did talk to Trent today, though. It is going to cost more than I had hoped, but less than I had feared. So, I guess we will be okay, so long as there are no more surprises, like the catalytic converter I found out about today.

I have chosen the utility room in the basement. It may seem like an odd choice, being in the “dungeon” without windows, but it will give me a quiet space of my own. Since Trevor works during the afternoon, it is perfect because he won’t be making noise down there either. His bedroom is right next to the utility, after all. If I really want daylight, I can just open his door, and peek through to his window. There is a way to get around everything, if you try hard enough, even sharing space with the food larder and the washer and dryer.

My furry family album had to be put on hold for a while, too, because of my lack of space. I realized after starting that line of posts that the majority of pictures taken during Suzie’s younger years are not digitized yet. For some reason, when the stores started offering CDs when you got your pictures developed, I forgot to check that box at least half the time.

But never fear, I bought myself a Christmas gift to take care of such a problem: A negative scanner.

And as soon as Trevor gets the power cord for me and takes the scanner and a few boxes of photos downstairs, we will be back in business!

And look here, he did it already! What a sweetheart.

No Regrets

Okay, okay. So, I cannot stay away from making a list for the New Year. But this is a life list. It doesn’t expire until I do. Now, that’s a scary thought. I decided a long time ago to live my life without regrets. If I make a decision, one way or the other, I must live with it. No regrets, even if my decision means failure.

As Ken and I have been planning our fulltime RV travels of the United States, I have thought much about what I would like to do during our travels. Many of those things are now included in my bucket list, along with many of the things I have long desired to accomplish in my life. So, without any more preamble, on to the list:

1. Attend the Kentucky Derby, wearing a big hat, white gloves, and fancy dress.
2. Snorkel in the Gulf of Mexico.
3. Race on the Salt Flats.
4. Learn to skydive. (Okay this one is really Ken’s idea. He says for the big 80, we will do this.)
5. Eat a soft shell blue crab sandwich.
6. Attend Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
7. Learn authentic basket weaving techniques from a Native American.
8. Attend the game show, The Price Is Right.
9. Go white water rafting.
10. Lazily raft the Mississippi.
11. Pick peaches in Georgia.
12. Hot air balloon. (Another of Ken’s ideas. Notice, I don’t like heights.)
13. See Mount Rushmore.
14. Go to Denali National Park.
15. See a glacier. Maybe even walk on a glacier.
16. Go to Grand Teton National Park.
17. Write a novel—or three.
18. Learn to play golf.
19. Learn sign language.
20. Relearn Spanish.
21. Walk on fire.
22. Helicopter over the Grand Canyon. (Ken again.)
23. Hike part of the Appalachian Trail.
24. Learn to play craps, and then play on a steamboat on the Mississippi.
25. Restore a classic car.
26. Participate in a marathon.
27. Help build a Habitat for Humanity house.
28. Take singing lessons and then sing on stage.
29. Ride a mechanical bull.
30. Spend the night in a haunted house. (Does it count that the house we currently live in is haunted?)
31. Visit the Four Corners, where Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, and Colorado all come together.
32. See the fall colors in New Hampshire.
33. Sell my photography, artwork, and crafted items.
34. Reach over 100,000 hits on my blog.
35. Have my own successful website to sell my wares.
36. Get down to my ideal weight.
37. Learn to accept criticism.
38. Travel for 5 years.
39. Buy a piece of property and build a cabin on a small hill.
40. Be part of a disaster relief effort.
41. Earn my masters.

What is on your bucket list? Well, get on with it. The clock is ticking.

THE SPLENDOR THAT IS MORNING

It is 7:30. I have been mostly awake since about 5 a.m. The sun has been trying to peek through the mini blinds since its rising, and I have been watching the slivers of light as they filter through the tree branches to find me still lying in bed, cold and patient, waiting for the furnace to warm things up a bit. Tinker has been stealing the blankets again. She likes to snuggle down between us, on top of the covers, of course. Even though the blankets are king and the bed queen, there still doesn’t seem to be enough to go around on the chilliest of mornings. If I were small and cold, I would want to snuggle between my parents, too. Heck, I am large and cold, and I still want two warm bodies to snuggle between.

It is now 8:30, and I am sitting on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket. Tink has now taken on the job of warming my feet. So I guess the comfort she stole earlier, she is now returning. What a silly puppy she is.

I can see that the sky is gloriously blue already this morning. The rains have stopped. Last night’s winds must have rushed the final clouds away, sending them to a destination farther south. I know there won’t be many more days like this. The leaves are already turning brilliant shades of red and gold. Though the view from my window is inviting, I just cannot seem to enjoy even the thought of getting out there. My whole body hurts and I have a nagging headache.

Depression has a way of creeping in when I cannot escape the pain. When I see others enjoying themselves without me. When I see the sun shining. When I see disappointment on Ken’s face after I decline to go fishing with him. When I see all that needs done and am keenly aware of my inabilities. When all that seems inviting is the comfort of my pillows and blankets. Not even a hug is welcome on such a morning as this.

Maybe a nice, hot shower will do me some good. I will let you know after I take that long walk to the johnnie, shower bag in hand.

It is now 10 a.m. Shower is done. Teeth are brushed. Hair is coifed. I am dressed in clean clothes. It is good and helpful to at least appear better than I am feeling. But I think I will stay here for today and work on my book. The time has flown by this past week, and I have not gotten much accomplished that was on my list. I have, at least, almost finished a friend’s book he recently published. I feel terribly that it has taken me so long to get to it, but I am an incredibly slow reader. It is really pathetic how slowly I read. Dyslexia will do that to a person.

So today my plan is to edit my book. I am back on the sofa, all propped up with my computer lap table. (Thank you, Charlie, for giving Grandma a great Mother’s Day gift.)

Wish me luck.

HELLO DETROIT, OREGON, THAT IS

Our first official “camping” experience in the Raven is at Detroit Lake State Park. Last night really didn’t count, especially since we spent most of the night gambling in the casino. Those machines were tight. They kept giving just enough to keep us interested, but in the end, they took everything we were willing to give. I am glad that I had not gotten into my stash. Instead, I was picking Ken’s pockets all night. At one point, he had parlayed $20 into $65, but then the machine got greedy when Ken thought he might actually win more. Me, I wasn’t as lucky. The highest I had gotten all night was $35, but I too got greedy and continued to play. The good thing is, when you play the penny slots, your losses are not as great. Your winnings aren’t as great either, but that is okay. We are in it for the fun, not necessarily the profit. We can usually break even, not that we play that often, though.

Detroit Lake is a beautiful body of water held behind a dam. This time of year, they drain it at least a foot a day. The thought is that, by draining it, when the coming rains and snows fall, the lake will fill back up rather than flood the area. It makes sense, but there is an awful lot of dry lake bed to look at right now and a ways to go to get out to the remaining water to boat, fish, or swim. We are enjoying the area nevertheless.

Tonight after dinner I tried to connect to the internet. My Clear Hotspot appeared to be working. It was plugged in and lit up, anyway. And the network connection center on my computer was reading full towers. So, what was up? Why couldn’t I connect? Silly me. I am not as techno-savvy as I would like to believe. One call to Trevor and my hopes of connecting to civilization were dashed.

“Mom,” he said, “that just means you are getting good signal from your router. It does not mean you have service.”

“Oh.” Boy, do I feel silly. I guess I am stranded out here in the woods. I guess I will have a gazillion emails when I get home. I guess I cannot post any of the wonderful blog ideas I have for an entire week. My Facebook friends will think I dropped off the face of the earth again. Bummer. I might actually have to use a . . .  a . . . a . . . phone to communicate. At least I have cell service. If not, I might actually have to resort to snail mail. I shudder at the thought of actually hand writing a letter.

So, here is the low down. As you read these posts, please beware that they are at least a week old already. I cannot stop writing, even if no one can read them yet. I have decided to space them out so that you all don’t get overwhelmed when you are just getting interested in my blog.

Upcoming this week are cooking lessons, fishing tales, and pug funnies. Catch you later.

Yes, Dear

“If you are writing every day, why aren’t you working on your book?”

I have complained that I have nowhere to work. I have complained that I don’t feel good. I have complained that there is too much else for me to do and that I feel guilty spending time on my book. Obviously, none of those reasons is the real excuse. Lyme leaves me sitting on my rump more often than I like, so why don’t I work on the final editing process? I am so close to being finished, it is ridiculous.

Frankly, my book is emotionally charged and I am drained. I know me and I know I get worked up every time I start editing again. I cry. I say way too many why me’s. I connect my computer to the TV, yet again, to watch Netflix, instead of working, and then I blame it on the guys, when they enter the room to zone out with me. “Well, if you would let me use my computer . . .”

Enough excuses!

My husband is right. If I have the time and ability to write my blog and play on the computer every day, then I can spend at least an hour a day working on my book. I can carve out a workspace in the house. The table is always cluttered with junk, so why not clear it and claim that space as my own? Get rid of my pill basket (I wish). Get rid of the bill box (oh, how I wish). Get rid of all the stuff that just seems to end up there. The Advil really isn’t homeless. It belongs in the medicine cabinet. That growing stack of medical receipts? Take care of it once and for all. What happened to my New Year’s resolution to enter them into the computer and file them monthly? That went out the window way back in February. Oh, I fear tax time will be upon us in the blink of an eye.

Quit complaining and just do it. And don’t do like your Big Dogs sweatshirt says (tomorrow).

So, my list of things to do today, (as soon as I am done procrastinating on the computer, anyway):

1.      Go through all the mail that has been piling up, pay the bills, file what needs filing, and get that box off the table.

2.      Gather all the medical receipts, sort them, and enter them into the computer for taxes.

3.      Clean out the mystery basket on the far corner of the table. How do you have a far corner on a round table? I don’t know, but there is a hideously huge pile growing back there, nonetheless.

4.      Delay the editing process a little more by making a fabulous dinner for my guys. Maybe we will actually eat at the table, since it will be cleared by dinnertime.

5.      And finally, set up my makeshift workstation so that it is ready for Monday morning. There can be no excuses if everything is ready and waiting for me.

So, honey, yes, I heard you for the thousandth time. I know I need to work on my book. I know I am wasting time on nonessentials. I know also that I need to figure out how to balance working on my book and working on the RV remodel. Hmm. Sounds like another way for me to procrastinate.