High Maintenance Hottie

Have you ever stopped to consider how others might see you? Of course you have because you know as well as I do that we are talking about all those labels we try so hard to get rid of. If we step to the side for just a moment, or we change the wording a bit, we might actually be able to laugh at our labels, instead of cry. It’s the whole, “I’m not fat, I’m fluffy,” attitude.

I had never really thought of myself as high maintenance until recently. I’ve always tried to remain independent, not wanting to put upon others and wear out my welcome, so to speak. But, when one has a chronic illness, sometimes she needs help. So I had to drop the façade of independence, in favor of a more congenial, less stubborn reliance on the help of others.

As a disclaimer, despite our grandson’s proclamation that I am always in a good mood, I most certainly am not. I just work really hard to not let others see me, as I go off the deep end, but my poor, dear, sweet husband gets the brunt of it every time.

I have wicked migraines that come on strong and fast and slur my speech and steal my words. I can be in normal conversation one moment, and then the next, I’m a babbling idiot. These meltdowns also come with an emotional flavor. After one incident, I cried and begged Ken to forgive my two-year-old behavior. He said, “Two? More like eight, because you know better.”

One evening during a whopper of a migraine, I insisted on arguing about my jeans and his shoes. I cannot tell you why we were arguing, essentially about the proverbial apples and oranges. I haven’t a clue because it didn’t make sense even as I tried desperately to argue my ridiculous point that night.

It is during my migraines, when I become belligerent like a child, that I am most high maintenance.

When my pain and fatigue shake me to the core, this is also when I am most high maintenance.

When I whine and cry because I am too tired to think straight and I interpret Ken’s gentle coaxing as aggressive pushing, this again is when I am most high maintenance.

He is such a gentle, giving soul, and yet he quickly gives me the evil eye if I am overstepping. It is then that I pray, very loudly, “Lord, please help me to be patient. I know I can be pushy. Please teach me to be satisfied with what I have, Lord. Please let Ken know how much I appreciate him getting me a third glass of water. Lord, I know I am so needy, please forgive me. And thank you for putting Ken in my life. Amen.”

Then he softens, knowing that if I didn’t really need help, I would not ask. Besides, he has opportunities for revenge (oh, you sadistic puppy, you), and he pokes fun at my faux pas (all in good fun, nothing sadistic here). He gets to take a cold, wet washcloth to my fiery body, to extinguish my hot flashes. After all, I do seem to be of that certain age, when women can be overheard saying, “I’m still hot. But now it comes in flashes.”

Moral of today’s story: Laughing at ourselves can be good medicine.

Peace,

Jenni

Don’t Be Late For Dinner

On our drive to see part of Lake Berryessa yesterday, we traveled down the road toward Pleasant Cove and happened upon a ranch. In the pasture, I spotted one gray cow among all the angus. I asked Ken to stop so I could get a few pictures.

Lo and behold, when they saw our truck stop, they must have thought we were bringing dinner. We triggered a Pavlov response, and they began bellowing and trotting toward the barn, watching us as we slowing traveled down the road.

We laughed so hard, I almost forgot to take pictures.

But then, when we got a little farther down the road, we triggered the same response in a hog. What is it about our big white truck? Does it just scream, “Dinner’s coming?” The pig actually appeared to jump for joy when she saw us.

What I do know is that they made my day, to see these animals so excited by our presence, even if the local horses only gave us a passing glance and the wild turkeys ran for the hills.

Peace, love, and a good meal to you all,

Jenni

Busy as a Bee

Life on the road is busy, busy, busy, despite my assumptions to the contrary. I thought I would have plenty of time to write, to paint, to do whatever my heart desired.

(Hey! We finally spotted another Firan Raven. This one’s a 1995. Ours is a 1996.)

Well, maybe life wouldn’t be so busy, if I hadn’t suddenly developed a gregarious attitude/outlook on life. There are so many interesting people out there, and I want to hear all of their stories. I crave the laughter and sharing that happens amongst family, friends, and new acquaintances alike. I cherish each touch, each word, each gesture given or spoken with compassion of heart and honesty of soul.

Among the full-timer set, I thought I might not fit in. I’m considerably younger than most. Though many are more spry than I, in body.

Even so, there’s a unity, a bond, a special cohesiveness, within this ever-changing body of elders with whom I spend my days—and they accept me as one of them. One leaves, another picks up right where they left off. Conversations and laughter ebb and flow with the comings and goings of old and new friends.

We have all chosen this life, though our reasons may be as varied as our personalities.

Ken and I have chosen this life, and I love it. I am grateful to my husband, for without him, I could not have all these new adventures.

Thank you, Lord, for placing Ken in my life and placing us on this path, this journey of a lifetime. Amen.

Love and blessings,

Jenni

Not So Out of Touch

The Internet has been down, here at Neskowin Creek RV Resort, but it really hasn’t been an issue. Not for me, anyway. I see some people acting like addicts in search of their next hit, as they ask in the office and then ask random people if they’ve gotten on lately.

For me, it has been so peaceful. I have wanted to log on and write a post or two. It just wasn’t in the cards.

In the time I’ve not been spending online, I've had many actual conversations with real flesh-and-bone people and I've learned so much about myself and others in the process. Plus I haven't laughed and smiled this much in a long time.

I’ve also had time to work on editing my book. In a few weeks’ time, I should have the final edit finished, and my manuscript will be ready for publishing. Yes, I realize I’ve been talking about this book off and on for the past several years. I thought I had it finished two years ago. I really did. I had Office Depot print copies, and I handed them out to a few friends, family, and trusted others. I really thought I was ready. But God said, “Not yet.” He was basically telling me the book wasn’t finished because I had one more Major, dare I say Super Major, test to go through. Having now finished that trial, I feel the peace that I believe means I can now finish and publish.

Plus, Ken and I have had time to just relax without stressing about anything other than not being organized full-timers yet.

This past week has been good, very good. Maybe God’s been using this time to reinforce the last trial He put me through.

Thank heaven for limited internet!

We should all go net-less once in a while.

Peace, love, and joy to you all!

I'll be checking out again!