High Maintenance Hottie

Have you ever stopped to consider how others might see you? Of course you have because you know as well as I do that we are talking about all those labels we try so hard to get rid of. If we step to the side for just a moment, or we change the wording a bit, we might actually be able to laugh at our labels, instead of cry. It’s the whole, “I’m not fat, I’m fluffy,” attitude.

I had never really thought of myself as high maintenance until recently. I’ve always tried to remain independent, not wanting to put upon others and wear out my welcome, so to speak. But, when one has a chronic illness, sometimes she needs help. So I had to drop the façade of independence, in favor of a more congenial, less stubborn reliance on the help of others.

As a disclaimer, despite our grandson’s proclamation that I am always in a good mood, I most certainly am not. I just work really hard to not let others see me, as I go off the deep end, but my poor, dear, sweet husband gets the brunt of it every time.

I have wicked migraines that come on strong and fast and slur my speech and steal my words. I can be in normal conversation one moment, and then the next, I’m a babbling idiot. These meltdowns also come with an emotional flavor. After one incident, I cried and begged Ken to forgive my two-year-old behavior. He said, “Two? More like eight, because you know better.”

One evening during a whopper of a migraine, I insisted on arguing about my jeans and his shoes. I cannot tell you why we were arguing, essentially about the proverbial apples and oranges. I haven’t a clue because it didn’t make sense even as I tried desperately to argue my ridiculous point that night.

It is during my migraines, when I become belligerent like a child, that I am most high maintenance.

When my pain and fatigue shake me to the core, this is also when I am most high maintenance.

When I whine and cry because I am too tired to think straight and I interpret Ken’s gentle coaxing as aggressive pushing, this again is when I am most high maintenance.

He is such a gentle, giving soul, and yet he quickly gives me the evil eye if I am overstepping. It is then that I pray, very loudly, “Lord, please help me to be patient. I know I can be pushy. Please teach me to be satisfied with what I have, Lord. Please let Ken know how much I appreciate him getting me a third glass of water. Lord, I know I am so needy, please forgive me. And thank you for putting Ken in my life. Amen.”

Then he softens, knowing that if I didn’t really need help, I would not ask. Besides, he has opportunities for revenge (oh, you sadistic puppy, you), and he pokes fun at my faux pas (all in good fun, nothing sadistic here). He gets to take a cold, wet washcloth to my fiery body, to extinguish my hot flashes. After all, I do seem to be of that certain age, when women can be overheard saying, “I’m still hot. But now it comes in flashes.”

Moral of today’s story: Laughing at ourselves can be good medicine.

Peace,

Jenni

Break Time

It has been a very busy week. Very busy indeed. And as such, this post will seem to be behind the times; for the busier I get, the behinder my writing falls.

This year for Halloween, we decided to join in the fun at our church (Mountainview Christian Church) by participating in Trunk or Treat. It was great fun. Our theme was the 50s and I had made a juke box and decorated the car a bit, too. Then someone asked if I was Julia Child. My intention was simply “50s mom,” but I liked the idea of being Julia Child, so I decided to let it stick. I believe we must give credit where credit is due, and as such, credit for the Julia Child idea goes to an anonymous parent. Thank you.

Some of the other entrants were absolutely amazing. A lot of time and thought had to have gone into each one. My friends, Tim and Kristina, did an awesome job remaking Alice in Wonderland. Though, this really isn’t any wonder, knowing that Kristina is such an amazing artist to begin with. You can check out her paintings on Etsy.

The only problem with having made the decision to do Trunk or Treat was that I was also preparing for a bazaar on November 3rd, which I had had only a few days’ notice in which to get my stuff together. I was cramming to get products made, and I was cramming to get costumes pulled together. Meanwhile, I was also cramming to get my homework done for my Friday night class at Renew. And, I had also made the decision to go see my dad in the midst of all this chaotic busy-ness.

And of course, right in the middle of it all, I worked myself into a physical setback by trying too hard and doing too much.

When we arrived home on Saturday evening, after having spent the entire day working at the bazaar, my legs gave out as I climbed the steps onto the porch. From there, it was all downhill. I slept, or rather I was in bed, delirious with pain and exhaustion, for the next 36 hours.

This morning found me slightly better, well enough to focus my mind on this simple task, at least. I could easily sleep another full day or two away, if it weren’t for my pesky drive. I cannot remain idle for too long. I feel guilty if I let things slide, or if I depend on others to do for me. I have always tried to hide my pain and my exhaustion from the world, but I can no longer hide what is so prevalent in my life. Unfortunately, all this guilt and hiding and unrelenting pain leads to a vicious cycle of try and fail and try and fail again, when my body cannot keep up with my drive and desire.

Putting a positive spin on it, however, I had a great week. I had a blast putting together costumes and seeing all those little kids dressed up. I had a wonderful lunch with my father and my son, three generations, having good conversation and laughter. I thoroughly enjoyed the creation process as I feverishly worked to make enough hats for the bazaar. During the bazaar, I enjoyed talking with many people whom I had not seen in a long while. And I really enjoyed seeing my photos and my creations displayed for sale.

What a Month!

I really don’t know where the time has gotten to. It seemed like we were still in August just yesterday, and now here we are on the last day of September. What happened?

I shall tell you.

First, it has been harvest season, and the abundance has kept me busy. I’ve told you already about the pears our gracious neighbor down the street gave us. Well, we have also received tomatoes, onions, and beets from friends and neighbors.

The blessings continue, and I am so humbled and overwhelmed by the love, Jesus’s love, I feel coming through all these people in my life.

Friday was a very good day for me, emotionally and pain-wise. So I decided that my guys deserved an awesome supper. I made cioppino, which was amazing, as usual. I also canned salsa Friday.

Saturday, I still had too many tomatoes lying around, and so they went into the oven to be roasted for tomato soup. You can find the recipe in one of my other blog posts, here. There were so many tomatoes that once roasted and pureed, they had to go into the freezer for those cold winter nights we know are on their way. It will be wonderful, come November or December, to pull out a container of roasted tomato puree, add the chicken broth and evaporated milk, and viola! Dinner is served!

But that’s not all. No, that’s not all.

Our good friends and neighbors got married a week ago. –And it has taken me this long to recuperate. Ken and I prepared most of the wedding banquet—an amazing Mexican feast including the best Spanish rice Ken has ever made (about 6 gallons of it in total), carnitas (50 pounds before cooking), pork and nopales in red sauce (3 gallons worth), potato salad (3 gallons), salsa (3 gallons), refried beans (4 gallons), and enough fruit to fill our second refrigerator. No, we never did get rid of it, but in all honesty, it sat, unplugged, until just before the wedding. I am glad we still had it available. Frankly, I cannot remember what else was on the menu, except homemade tortilla chips. It took me two days to make those silly things, there were so many, and yet people gobbled them up like there was no tomorrow. That’s the only thing I would have been concerned about running out of, had more people shown up. As it was, there was a great crowd.

Thank you for allowing me a little break from writing. Thank you for blessing me with your readership. I am grateful for all.

And now, some pictures. Oh, I forgot to say that while I wasn’t refilling the buffet (since my teenaged helpers disappeared), I was also the wedding photographer. The ceremony took place in their back yard. Enjoy a little taste of Oregon, Mexico style!

This was after the melons were peeled and sliced and put in the restaurant tubs in the bottom. The pitchers on the top to the right are agua de fresca, another menu item I forgot to mention, 3 gallons, saved mostly for immediate family.

The pork and nopales (cactus).

There was a live band and dancing half the night.

Since the entire family was there, which as you know can be difficult to achieve with today’s busy lives, I took family portraits during the wedding as well. Not just the newlyweds and her  kids, but all the brothers and their families too, and then the next generation too, since my friend has grand-babies. I must admit, however, that by the end of the evening, as the band was getting packed up, I had to grab someone to get a pic of me and my guys, since we were all dressed up. Considering this picture was taken around ten at night, I think I look pretty darn good still.

Of all the pictures, this one has to win the award for the most touching moment, between uncle and niece, as he fixed her ribbons before the portraits were taken.

Blessings Abound

Okay, so this hasn’t been the best week for creating works of art. It is becoming more difficult. I am not lacking imagination, but I am definitely running short on supplies and money to replace them.

Darn medical bills. And other bills. I pray for my son to get a job so that things won’t be so tight, but so far no such luck. It is difficult, three adults living on one retirement income. I am thankful we are here to help my son now when he needs us most. And I am thankful he is here to help us, too. If only we didn’t need to eat so often . . .

Even so, I count my blessings daily. And they do come daily.

I prayed for less pain when doing my writing and artwork, and my best friend and her boss gave me an office chair so that I would not have to sit in an uncomfortable kitchen chair.

Our Jeep broke down. I prayed to God that I did not know what we were going to do. He answered my prayers by arranging for another good friend to lend us their second car.

I prayed more about how we would be able to afford to fix the Jeep. Yet another friend stepped in to offer his free labor and know-how. Still praying about the cost of parts, but I feel confident in the Lord’s workings.

Out of the blue, a neighbor a few houses down offered us a lug and a half of pears from his tree. He even picked them for us. I am very thankful for his generosity. Once canned, they will provide fruit for us through the winter. (That’s my son’s best friend William [another blessing] helping me sort the pears. There’s nothing wrong with our skin; it is dappled shadowing from the umbrella.)

Our neighbors in the other half of the duplex have also been a godsend. They are getting married in a few weeks, and knowing our talents, they have hired us to cook the wedding feast, design the invitations (below), and photograph the wedding. I will also be doing a family portrait for them. This could not come at a better time for us, financially.

There are so many blessings, large and small, in our lives right now. All this brings me to tears. The love we’ve been shown by friends and strangers alike, it overwhelms me.

Another blessing is that our apple tree produced its first abundant crop. From half the apples, I made three pies, and I still have the other half of the honey crisps to munch or to make more pies.

Being gluten intolerant, I made these pies with a sugar cookie crust and a crisp topping. They are amazingly tasty.

I have only managed a few finished pieces this past week, though I have been drawing and have come up with plenty of sketches to paint later, once I can replace some of my supplies.

The imagination is a wonderful thing. As I was painting yard sale signs for Ken, I asked if I could have a few of the smaller plywood boards. These, I will paint upon with acrylics. Below, Ken is adding a second coat of base paint for me. Of course I had the tough job of sanding them smooth, myself!

All the family gets in on the action.

After all the week’s work and prayers and praises, it’s no wonder Tink and I passed out last night.

My Guys, Gotta Love ‘em

My son had his surgery last Thursday. It was a long and tedious day, which, of course, he slept through. When my best friend came to pick Trevor and I up, she noticed that his bed was a “Big Wheel.” Little boys just cannot get away from their toys, even when they grow up.

I wasn’t as lucky to get to sleep through all the stress and worry of why his surgery was taking twice as long as scheduled (so much extra damage) or why his surgeon didn’t immediately come talk to me after the surgery was over. Trevor was in recovery almost an hour before his surgeon finally came to speak to me because he had been immediately called away to the emergency department to consult on another patient. I understood once it was explained to me, but it did nothing to relieve my overwhelming anxiety beforehand.

Trevor is now home and faring well. He has a high pain threshold, which he probably gets from me. If my hubby is any indication how most men handle pain, then Trevor is a rare bird, indeed. Ken doesn’t do well at all with pain, but I can’t fault him for that. We all have different set points and tolerances. I don’t like pain, either, but I have learned to deal with it.

The pain I most abhor is migraine pain. And yesterday was a migraine day.

But my guys came through for me in spades.

Trevor’s best friend, William, whom I also count among “my guys,” has been here since the day after Trevor’s surgery. He has been a huge help, stepping in where Trevor cannot right now by helping me mop the floors after the plumber was here. (We had our plumbing back up—again.) And he has also helped out with dishes and laundry and garbage. What a guy! He’s also great at providing comic relief, in trying to get me to laugh despite my migraine.

Despite his back and hip being messed up lately (plus still recovering from shoulder surgery, himself), Ken has been doing his best to help out as well. In fact, for last night’s dinner, he pulled homemade paella out of thin air! It was amazing, much better than my homemade soup the day before, though my guys are so good they wouldn’t admit my soup wasn’t that great even if threatened with torture.

The best thing my guys did for me, however, was to play cards all afternoon and evening, with the television off, so that I could rest. Silence in the house makes for such a nicer me the day after a bad migraine. I just love my guys, all three.

And a special thank you to my best friend, who has unwittingly become my hospital chauffer lately. I don’t know what I would do without you. I love you!

(Wo)Man Up

Oh man, I feel like I am the one who went through surgery.

After a grueling day (Tuesday) of appointments, errands, and grocery shopping to prepare for Ken’s downtime following surgery, and then sitting at the hospital all day (Wednesday), I guess it was no wonder my body gave out yesterday (Thursday).

Luckily, Trevor came home early from work last night, because I was ready for bed by six, without having eaten much. Lucky also for Ken’s sake that Trevor can fix simple foods.

Speaking of Trevor, I happened to mention to him after getting home from the hospital that I would need him to help watch over Ken for a few days. Ken kind of scowled at the thought of needing a babysitter. But Trevor cracked up when I said, “Hey, the doctor said you have to have a responsible adult with you at all times for at least the first few days.”

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Tonight, if I feel up to it, I will venture out for my church stuff, and I can do that without guilt because a good friend has offered to “babysit.” He may grump, but I know Ken loves to be pampered.

As for me, I have to buck up and take on more responsibility than I have had to in the recent past. I too like to be pampered, and Ken and Trevor spoil me rotten all too often, but now it is not my turn.

Another thing I need to do is learn to accept the help that has been so generously offered—by our friends, our neighbors, our church family. I need to whip out my calendar, and say, “yes, please, dinner for Saturday would be great.”

After all, I am not alone in this journey. God gave us others to help carry our burdens. We only need to reach out our hand.

Our assist dog, Tinker Belle, hard at work. Check out the latest hospital-to-home fashions.