No Regrets

Okay, okay. So, I cannot stay away from making a list for the New Year. But this is a life list. It doesn’t expire until I do. Now, that’s a scary thought. I decided a long time ago to live my life without regrets. If I make a decision, one way or the other, I must live with it. No regrets, even if my decision means failure.

As Ken and I have been planning our fulltime RV travels of the United States, I have thought much about what I would like to do during our travels. Many of those things are now included in my bucket list, along with many of the things I have long desired to accomplish in my life. So, without any more preamble, on to the list:

1. Attend the Kentucky Derby, wearing a big hat, white gloves, and fancy dress.
2. Snorkel in the Gulf of Mexico.
3. Race on the Salt Flats.
4. Learn to skydive. (Okay this one is really Ken’s idea. He says for the big 80, we will do this.)
5. Eat a soft shell blue crab sandwich.
6. Attend Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
7. Learn authentic basket weaving techniques from a Native American.
8. Attend the game show, The Price Is Right.
9. Go white water rafting.
10. Lazily raft the Mississippi.
11. Pick peaches in Georgia.
12. Hot air balloon. (Another of Ken’s ideas. Notice, I don’t like heights.)
13. See Mount Rushmore.
14. Go to Denali National Park.
15. See a glacier. Maybe even walk on a glacier.
16. Go to Grand Teton National Park.
17. Write a novel—or three.
18. Learn to play golf.
19. Learn sign language.
20. Relearn Spanish.
21. Walk on fire.
22. Helicopter over the Grand Canyon. (Ken again.)
23. Hike part of the Appalachian Trail.
24. Learn to play craps, and then play on a steamboat on the Mississippi.
25. Restore a classic car.
26. Participate in a marathon.
27. Help build a Habitat for Humanity house.
28. Take singing lessons and then sing on stage.
29. Ride a mechanical bull.
30. Spend the night in a haunted house. (Does it count that the house we currently live in is haunted?)
31. Visit the Four Corners, where Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, and Colorado all come together.
32. See the fall colors in New Hampshire.
33. Sell my photography, artwork, and crafted items.
34. Reach over 100,000 hits on my blog.
35. Have my own successful website to sell my wares.
36. Get down to my ideal weight.
37. Learn to accept criticism.
38. Travel for 5 years.
39. Buy a piece of property and build a cabin on a small hill.
40. Be part of a disaster relief effort.
41. Earn my masters.

What is on your bucket list? Well, get on with it. The clock is ticking.

Where’s The Love?

I ended the 2011th year of our Lord wondering about the state of humanity. Where is the peace, love, and compassion that we all desire, that we all confess to reach for? Where is the basic decency, even?

What kind of a world do we live in, where someone deems it okay to solve a barking dog dispute by poisoning the dogs? Those yappy little dogs drive me crazy, too, from time to time, but it is not okay to kill. A dog does what it is allowed to do. The solution needs to be taken up with the owner, not from killing the innocent animals. It is said in dog training classes that it is actually the handler that is being trained, and I believe that is true. Dogs are very receptive to their owner’s behavior. They are eager to please. Why can’t people learn something from dogs, in that respect?

A friend tried to kill himself recently, over a young woman. When asked why she had been so cruel to him, that girl showed her true colors, “Maybe next time he will do it right.” We cannot stop ourselves from falling in love with the wrong people sometimes. We cannot help our overwhelming desire to love them despite themselves. We cannot help but want to fix them, once we do wake up and realize that they are no good for us. But why do people have to be so cruel in the first place? Weren’t we all given the ability to love and care, to show compassion and empathy, to learn and grow from our own mistakes and misgivings?

The newspapers and TV news programs are full of the evildoings of humans. Rape. Murder. Assault. Robbery. Arson. Embezzlement. Bombings. But why must evilness be so prolific? Do the evildoers not feel that twinge in their chest, that gnawing in their gut that tells them they are crossing the line?

Where is the love?

It took a while to search my brain for examples of God’s love, worked through people. It took too long because of all the negative influences we typically surround ourselves with on a daily basis. Those news sources I mentioned earlier. Reality TV, where backstabbing and fighting are glorified. The internet, where there is an overabundance of lies, scams, and other negativities. Information overload.

The love is in the simpler things of life. A smile from a stranger. A shared laugh with a friend over a cup of coffee. A homemade pot of caldo de rez from the neighbor, when I am at my worst. The nurse at the hospital, who spends that extra time to make sure you understand what is to happen next, so that you don’t feel lost and alone at a very scary time.

The compassion and empathy are in the gentle, knowing pat on my hand, when the other person simply has to look at me to know how much I am hurting. It is in the offer to help a friend, before she even contemplates asking. It is in the “just being there” actions we often forget to “do” because we are so busy trying to fill each minute with action, noise, and clutter. Silence is golden, after all.

The decency and humanity are in all of us. It can be nurtured. It can blossom, even from the worst conditions. Despite all the negativity around us, I believe we all deserve love. I believe in the goodness of the human race. Deep down, we all have good in us.

May you be blessed in this New Year. May you find the peace that seems so elusive. May you know the joy of true love and friendship. May you feel the compassion of others. And may you be all these things for someone else.

To Resolve or Not Resolve

 

As we near the end of another year, the same old question arises: Should I make New Year’s Resolutions?

For the past (at least) five years, I have refused to put my inadequacies and my hope-inspired solutions on paper just to fulfill a silly ritual. And yet, somewhere around the beginning of each year, even though they aren’t written down, I start a new diet and I attempt a new exercise program and I make all sorts of promises to improve my life that I cannot seem to keep.

But is that not the standard? We all make grand resolutions and promises, and very few of us actually carry them through.

So, to resolve or not resolve? Maybe if my list is simpler than usual. And maybe it should be on paper this year. Maybe if I strive only for those things I know are doable, at this moment. The things that will make me happy. Maybe my list should be thus:

1.  I will love myself more this year.

2.  I will be kind to myself this year.

3.  I will smell the roses more often.

4.  I will smile more often.

5.  I will forgive myself when I make mistakes.

6.  I will forgive others their mistakes.

May your life blossom in this coming year, and may you know peace, if even just in your tiny corner of the world.

Blessings and love,

Jenni Lynn